Creative business coach Sean Low has been fielding designer questions for Business of Home since 2018. The industry has changed a lot since then—and so has Low’s industry-leading advice. With that in mind, he’s revisiting some of his early columns with fresh eyes, including this one on weighing a firm’s obligation to bring on a prospective client who comes in through a referral. Here’s his take today.

Dear Sean,

I recently had a great client—she was pleased with the finished project, and I loved working with her throughout the process. But now there’s trouble in paradise, post-project. This client referred me to a friend of hers. I met with him, and my gut tells me that he is absolutely not the right client for me. He balked at my early suggestions and requirements, but still wants to hire me. This has happened in the past, and I always give in, because I feel indebted to the great client who recommends me. What should I do?

Signed,
Indebted

Dear Indebted:

In seven years, the number of tools any design firm has to define its DNA has exploded, from AI to digital imagery and, of course, social media. Today, with industry challenges such as tariffs and a tough economy, the temptation is to dilute your DNA and try to say yes to any referral, especially if it comes from a great client.

The ethos of my advice from seven years ago stands stronger than ever: Your firm cannot be all things to all people, but it can and must be the only thing for the right person. The goal has to be to become a category of one, rather than marginally better than all the rest.

Being marginally better than the rest—where you live on your portfolio instead of your one-of-a-kind promise as a business, and rely on a pattern of sameness when it comes to your business model and client service (as in, the client is always right)—is a race to the bottom: It’s cheaper, faster and more user-friendly for all. Seth Godin says it best: The race to the bottom is one your firm never wants to be in, let alone win. And yet …

Fear is a cruel mistress, and the temptation to undertake work for the wrong client with a big checkbook is beyond seductive in a slowing work pipeline. Having been in that position, I know how hard it is to resist. But resist, you must. Design is for clients who will pay the most for the best result. Clients who do not honor what, how, why, or even when you do what you do—on the terms you define in order to deliver your best work—will never truly pay you. Sure, they might give you dollars, but respect? Faith? Desire? Commitment? Never.

And make no mistake, your firm has nothing if you are unable to earn a client’s respect, faith, desire and commitment. Only clients who understand and value your firm’s DNA will ever even consider giving you that emotional investment. So, what does this have to do with the referral from a great client to the wrong one? Well, everything.

You need to go the other way—toward clarity of expression, spend and all things process. You have to know the three words that define your DNA and why. For instance, if related, professional and refined are your three identifiers, what do they mean to your firm, and why? How do those qualities show up everywhere in your business, in every single interaction with your clients, vendors and employees? I believe as a designer you should have a lookbook featuring a bio, press, a portfolio, and the firm’s ethos, process, and vision most of all (similar to what exists in fashion) available for any potential client to embrace what will matter should they decide to work with you. Be creative because you are paid to be creative. And, yes, the outrageous promises coupled with outrageous demands that I spoke of seven years ago stands. It is just that you have to go so much further today. All designers are iconic if they choose to be. Today you have no other choice.

Ultimately, your goal is for your great clients to only recommend other great clients who embody and embrace what makes them perfect for you and your firm. In the meantime, let the lookbook and your firm’s DNA carry the day.

None of the above means rigidity—it means strengthening the springs of the Slinky so that you can be ever more flexible without betraying your and your firm’s soul. To that end, my prayer for all designers is to never say no, but only yes on your terms. With the yes in hand, you can have the best chance to fulfill the two promises every designer must make today: do only your best work (not best under the circumstances), and stake your reputation on all that you do (as in, you would be happy if this were your very last project).

The last seven years have given designers a voice that was all too muted previously: a voice to define how someone will live and be transformed by the experience of their environment. The voice is no longer derivative to the client, the budget, the press—rather it is the guide, the inspiration, the creator. To go first, you have to know what it means and why it matters so much. Live there.

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Sean Low is the go-to business coach for interior designers. His clients have included Nate Berkus, Sawyer Berson, Vicente Wolf, Barry Dixon, Kevin Isbell and McGrath II. Low earned his law degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and as founder-president of The Business of Being Creative, he has long consulted for design businesses. In his Business Advice column for BOH, he answers designers’ most pressing questions. Have a dilemma? Send us an email—and don’t worry, we can keep your details anonymous.