Dear Sean,

I know that the environment is tough for so many interior designers right now. I count myself lucky to be as busy as I am. However, is the age of civility dead? My clients are demanding more and more from me: revision after revision, discounts on everything—you name it. Add to that fellow designers who are willing to take just about any job and undercut me whenever they get the chance. I adore what I do and the difference I make in my clients’ lives, but this current environment really makes me question it all. Does it really need to be this way?

Turn for the Worse

Dear Turn,

First, I am so sorry for your pain. There is no doubt that the interior design industry is suffering along with the rest of the home furnishings sector. That said, macro trends do not define micro businesses, and while the general state of the industry can certainly impact a designer’s firm, using it as an excuse to justify deplorable behavior is not only unwarranted, but a choice.

Chasing bad money is a seductive mistress. It will tempt you to do what you do not want to do just to pay the bills, and to take on clients that do not understand why you do things the way you do. Fear is irrational, and will almost always take us away from ourselves.

Use your malaise to go the other way. I have heard over and over again that a designer has to try to figure out what drives the potential client and then act according to their needs in order to not only land their project but to serve them. Just plain no.

The entire reason you are in the design business is to honor your voice—and your ability to see what your clients cannot and manifest transformation for them and their families. If that notion sounds hokey or hyperbolic, ask yourself why. Whose voice are you listening to? The one that says the customer is always right? Fun fact: They are always wrong when it comes to your business, as only you know how your process is meant to unfold to provide your greatest chance at success. Those who say that it is not brain surgery: Tell that to anyone who is disappointed when they walk into their kitchen and hate what they see. And my favorite: the person who claims yours is not a real business and you have to follow the processes of the “real world.” That version of the world is misogyny and patriarchy all wrapped up in a toxic bubble. Go the other way.

All interior designers are saving starfish from dying on the beach. You only matter to the ones you decide to save. The rest are not for you. So choose to become more authentic—and perhaps most important of all, stop apologizing for your voice. Be inspired, motivated and driven by the client that feels compelled to choose the vision you show. Stop making money on merchandise and instead find a way to make what you need—no more, no less—and always without apology. Confidence is ephemeral; conviction is bigger than you. It’s time for you to strive for the latter.

As for those designers who choose to race to the bottom, without regard for integrity or the damage they leave in their wake: Let them. It is not a race you would ever want to be in, let alone win.

The beauty of the unseen world is yet to be revealed, but your small piece of it will certainly be discovered by you, and your design business will offer that access to your clients. Let that fact wash over you, and then realize that the purpose of going first in these ventures is to allow you to separate yourself from the vagaries of any market. There are thousands and thousands of starfish. Matter to five, and the rest will take care of itself. Radical authenticity is always the way—that’s never been truer than it is today.

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Sean Low is the go-to business coach for interior designers. His clients have included Nate Berkus, Sawyer Berson, Vicente Wolf, Barry Dixon, Kevin Isbell and McGrath II. Low earned his law degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and as founder-president of The Business of Being Creative, he has long consulted for design businesses. In his Business Advice column for BOH, he answers designers’ most pressing questions. Have a dilemma? Send us an email—and don’t worry, we can keep your details anonymous.